Seagal's Belly

There are two kinds of action movies – high-quality, intelligent action films such as The Professional, The Killer and Bourne Identity - all films that I love. Then, there are action films like Invasion USA and Commando, which are mind-bogglingly great in their over-the-top badness. Belly of the Beast may strive to be in the first category, but it remains in the “so-bad-they’re-great” realm with other Seagal milestones like On Deadly Ground, Out for Justice and Under Siege. I have watched a lot of Steven Seagal films (note: I call them films). While Exit Wounds was not as bad as Cradle to the Grave, my man has been going downhill since Fire Down Below. The "EPA with a license to kill angle" worked for me there, even when he was jamming with the awful country band at the county fair - this scene has to be witnessed to be understood.

There are lots of rules for bad action heroes to follow when their careers need boosts. Now that Seagal has gone to a Hong Kong director for help, the only thing left for him to do is a movie where he fights himself. Van Damme has been fighting himself for years; get with the program! The good news here is that Seagal got the best fight director possible. Ching Siu Tung, the man behind the action of Hero, Duel to the Death, The Killer and countless others would certainly be my top choice for fight scene choreography.

This time around Seagal is a recovering CIA agent whose daughter has been kidnapped by “terrorists,” forcing him to travel to Thailand to find her. Yes – the plot is as ridiculous as your average bad action-outing. As a low-brow action film, I found myself enjoying Belly of the Beast. If you can suspend your critical facilities and enjoy this kind of schlock, you will, too. I am sure many die-hards hated the showdown scene with the monks, but I thought it was original and even somewhat interesting, to say the least. It reminded me of Chinese Ghost Story (Ching Siu Tung-directed). It was also ballsy to have Muslim terrorists be innocent of the movie’s kidnapping, and to have the CIA behind it instead. For the uninitiated, Seagal is also the man who wrote a script implicating the CIA in the creation of AIDS; I can always appreciate a writer who blames the CIA for the world’s ills.

Unfortunately, the movie has some extreme drawbacks (outside of the fact that it’s a DTV action crapstravaganza). Belly of the Beast boasts an incredibly trite romance, tacked-on for hormonal action fans with Asian fetishes. Honestly, does anyone really believe that a young Asian woman would fall for a washed-up CIA agent with a gut nearly thirty years her senior and from a completely foreign culture? In addition, the body-double work has to be some of the worst I’ve ever seen since the Star Trek episode Enemy Within where Shatner fought himself. Every time Seagal leaps into action (aside from when he’s just shooting people, of course), he is instantly replaced by a much skinnier double whose face is always obscured. Seagal – dude – three words for you: DIET – EXERCISE - DISCIPLINE. I had a hard time with this, compounded by the fact that the movie is called Belly of the Beast. All in all, this was above-average DTV. If you’re a fan of bad action flicks, you could do much, much worse.

Is this movie worth your $2?:
Do you feel the need to keep up with the train wreck that is Seagal’s career? Seriously, though – there are some above-average scenes, good action choreography…nah, on second thought, it may not be worth your money...or your time.

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