In some ways, DTV Steven Seagal movies are the cinematic equivalent of an abusive relationship. Each one is terrible, but the next promises that things will be different. They never are, yet we find ourselves returning again and again. We want to make-up with you, Seagal, we really do!
This proves to be the case with Urban Justice, Seagal’s latest DTV affair. For all practical purposes, this one promised to be different more vehemently than before - finally, it was to be Seagal’s return-to-form after a slew of utterly execrable phoned-in DTV garbage. The criticisms from his dwindling fanbase are always the same – Seagal has gained too much weight, forcing him to rely on body doubles to film his fight scenes, he doesn’t do his own dubbing, the plots are sometimes changed after the movie has been made, the movie titles are no longer prepositional phrases. It has been a long, hard fall for the man who brought us entertaining antisocial brainlessness like Marked for Death and Out for Justice. Bad movie fans like us reminisce on the days when he took pride in knocking a scumbag’s teeth out with a cue ball wrapped in a towl, hacking off hands with meat cleavers and bending arms the wrong way.
So why, pray tell, did we expect Urban Justice to actually deliver on that mythical comeback? For starters, the plot was more in tune with his old movies – a bitter cop, bent on revenge. Many of the reviews online claimed that this time, Seagal actually seemed to care. “He isn’t badly dubbed! There’s lots of gore!” they trumpeted. Yes, he had still been enjoying a few too many carbs, but damnit, here was the quality that one comes to expect from action movies, especially those boasting our stoic, pony-tailed hero.
Steven Seagal is Simon Bannister, which isn’t anywhere near as tough as “Gino Felino” or “Mason Storm” (previous nom-de-plumes), but we can let it slide. His son, a cop, makes some discoveries and is ready to blow the whistle criminals in high places, which leads to his murder in a seedy East L.A. neighborhood at the beginning of the movie. As expected, Simon moves to the ‘hood to unravel the network of corrupt cops (really, it was just one cop - that's all the budget could afford) and low-rent drug pushers that did his son in. Along the way, he befriends a stereotypical “thug with a heart of gold” and the woman who owns the liquor store where he rents his room, who for some bizarre reason pops up during the movie’s final showdown. The villain is Undercover Brother’s Eddie Griffin, who chews through the scenery with gusto, but offers little in the way of screen presence or menace. He's a far cry from William Forsythe and Henry Silva.
There’s certainly not much characterization to be had here, but this is a Steven Seagal flick; the least we can hope for is some good sadistic violence. Unfortunately, it doesn’t deliver much of that, either. The action sequences are pretty darkly-shot, and this problem is compounded by that awful jerky shot-on-digital feel that many a bad cinema fan has come to hate. Most of the much-hyped gore in the movie looks to be some very obvious CGI. Physically, Seagal appears worse than ever here; yes, Charles Bronson had a really beat look to him, but it just doesn’t work for Steven – once again, the weight definitely is a negative factor. The dialogue and acting are dreadful, as well - try not to squirm in your seat when Seagal is using ebonics!
This proves to be the case with Urban Justice, Seagal’s latest DTV affair. For all practical purposes, this one promised to be different more vehemently than before - finally, it was to be Seagal’s return-to-form after a slew of utterly execrable phoned-in DTV garbage. The criticisms from his dwindling fanbase are always the same – Seagal has gained too much weight, forcing him to rely on body doubles to film his fight scenes, he doesn’t do his own dubbing, the plots are sometimes changed after the movie has been made, the movie titles are no longer prepositional phrases. It has been a long, hard fall for the man who brought us entertaining antisocial brainlessness like Marked for Death and Out for Justice. Bad movie fans like us reminisce on the days when he took pride in knocking a scumbag’s teeth out with a cue ball wrapped in a towl, hacking off hands with meat cleavers and bending arms the wrong way.
So why, pray tell, did we expect Urban Justice to actually deliver on that mythical comeback? For starters, the plot was more in tune with his old movies – a bitter cop, bent on revenge. Many of the reviews online claimed that this time, Seagal actually seemed to care. “He isn’t badly dubbed! There’s lots of gore!” they trumpeted. Yes, he had still been enjoying a few too many carbs, but damnit, here was the quality that one comes to expect from action movies, especially those boasting our stoic, pony-tailed hero.
Steven Seagal is Simon Bannister, which isn’t anywhere near as tough as “Gino Felino” or “Mason Storm” (previous nom-de-plumes), but we can let it slide. His son, a cop, makes some discoveries and is ready to blow the whistle criminals in high places, which leads to his murder in a seedy East L.A. neighborhood at the beginning of the movie. As expected, Simon moves to the ‘hood to unravel the network of corrupt cops (really, it was just one cop - that's all the budget could afford) and low-rent drug pushers that did his son in. Along the way, he befriends a stereotypical “thug with a heart of gold” and the woman who owns the liquor store where he rents his room, who for some bizarre reason pops up during the movie’s final showdown. The villain is Undercover Brother’s Eddie Griffin, who chews through the scenery with gusto, but offers little in the way of screen presence or menace. He's a far cry from William Forsythe and Henry Silva.
There’s certainly not much characterization to be had here, but this is a Steven Seagal flick; the least we can hope for is some good sadistic violence. Unfortunately, it doesn’t deliver much of that, either. The action sequences are pretty darkly-shot, and this problem is compounded by that awful jerky shot-on-digital feel that many a bad cinema fan has come to hate. Most of the much-hyped gore in the movie looks to be some very obvious CGI. Physically, Seagal appears worse than ever here; yes, Charles Bronson had a really beat look to him, but it just doesn’t work for Steven – once again, the weight definitely is a negative factor. The dialogue and acting are dreadful, as well - try not to squirm in your seat when Seagal is using ebonics!
Urban Justice proved to be a tedious, by-the-numbers cop action movie. It may have been better than his other recent movies, but it’s nowhere near the level of entertainment that On Deadly Ground can provide.
Is this movie worth your $2?:
Buy yourself coffee instead, or just rent Out for Justice again.
Is this movie worth your $2?:
Buy yourself coffee instead, or just rent Out for Justice again.
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